Blog #1 or: Life and Times on a Rosacoaster

I have been so hesitant about the prospect of a blog about my life. Naturally, I over thought and analyzed it almost into oblivion. well, I suppose since you are reading this, and you are not me, I managed to actually over think it into a reality. But honestly I've begun to write this impulsively, just as most things by me are created. Because if it isn't on impulse, my brain could go on for days, months, even years pitting the positives and the negatives of any given choice against each other. Yes, what i'm trying to say is that the inside of my head is basically at a constant state of war about one or (usually) mutiple thing(s).

My first blog ever was homed by livejournal.com and was a complete joke. Granted, I was 15, and what (except sex) isnt at that age.

Wait, did i just say "except sex"? More like especially sex.

Anyway, I wrote about terribly interesting events. For example:
almost being grounded for getting a C in Math, the first time i got totally "wasted" (aka pretending to be totally wasted based on examples shown on "Beverly Hills 90210"), about my addiction to candy, my first experience with a vibrator (and oh how edgy I thought I was for mentioning said experience) about how much i loved the song "Crash" by Dave Matthews. There were also entries of my angsty, emotional, hormonal and mediocre poetry, and a lot more about all the stupid girls in the world (which, by the way, was every girl except me). I wrote a lot about how much of a "complete ass hole" my dad was, and it's funny the amount of reality 5+ years of living can bring a person. Where I once magicked a jerk in place of my father, i now see a desperate and scared man that was so frightened of the stupid choices his only daughter was making. Basically, this blog is now the 4 or so year account of the most embarassing shit I could ever think to say.

So it took me about 6 years to get up the courage to be confident in my own thoughts and to even consider that I had anything to share with the public worth reading. Truth is I'm still pretty unsure of that, but here I go anyway. Favorite blogger's like my dear friend President Wishnack definitely helped with some inspiration. He makes his life and the events in it(not all that different from my own) interesting and funny and worth reading. He made me realize that the things people like to read about the most are things that, ultimately, they can relate to. I don't think I could get as many "ha-ha funny's" out of people, but I am hoping for some "ha-ha that's true's". Maybe in my own ridiculous and outlandish mistakes (often repeated) and realities, I can help people see some humor in things that are otherwise heartbreaking or tragic (or even just plain boring) in their own lives. Let's hope I don't fuck up and mention Dave Matthews.

Between my adventures of taking care of 2 infants at the same time, my love/warfare between on again off again boyfriend of 4 years, heroin addicted friends, the happenstance of an always-growing-more-successful (because success is relative) band that was born between aforementioned boyfriend and I, my passionate and personal opinions on keeping this country pro-choice, the amount i am contributing to the economic boost through my shopping addiction (which I absolutely cannot afford) and, most importantly, my big-mouth(both metaphorically and physically), I hope that I am brought inspiration to write on a some-what frequent basis.

in other words, stay-tuned.